05-01-15
Period 1
A Day In Spring
The air is swift and
breathtaking. The aromas of the newly developed flowers fill the air. The sun´s
heat gleams on my face. It's a new day, a day in the spring. As I strolled down
my street, I noticed a quite distressed person.
Not knowing who it was I proceeded
with caution. To my surprise, it was my pal, Sydney. He was in quite of a
predicament. He wonderd if to either walk the robust path towards the desert
hills or to take a plug-in the pool. I helped him come to a conclusion. Since I
am a big fan of swimming, we both decided to throw a pool party with all our
other pals. He called them up and soon after they arrived.
Teenagers like I, have a tendency to
ignore the little things in life, like every detail and emotion we experience,
but this day I did not. I remember the damp, moist grass huging against the
skin of my feet. The frigid concrete which where the pool was laid out. The
water was as warm as any other day, but was still refreshing to the touch. As
we ran in, the water splashed and whirled furiously. Then everything came to a
standstill. I noticed a very pungent smell, the smell of chlorine, in the
water. Although it did not bother my sense of smell, it did affect my eyes when
I retreated from underwater. We swam and laughed at all the little things we
did.
In a short amount of time, the sun
was in the horizon. My pals and I decided to go on a journey towards a burger
joint across a small desert. We all got out of the pool. At this moment the
feeling of sundown struck us. We were all in fear of the desert, but we were
safe in numbers... or so we thought.
As we walked towards the small dirt
hill which lead to the desert my breathing altered. My lungs contracted at a
faster rate. I could feel my heart also, beat at more accelerated rate. I could
feel my eyes widen. Every step I took I felt a plethora of adrenaline being
released from my adrenal gland. Josh, a friend of mine, began to panic at the
slightest noise. *THUMP* we all turned in horror. The desert was dark and alone
now. It was only us and the Joshua trees. We spotted a disturbing shadow sweep
in front of us. A cold chill ran through my spine. I could not move a muscle as
if I were to be paralyzed. The hair on my arm began to rise. "Oh no, let's
get out of here!" exclaimed Sydney. My legs began to move so as if they
were out of control. I could not stop. With every step, I kicked the dirt
behind me. Deep gasps of air began to fill the expanse. I ran until I no longer
could, and so did my pals behind me. We never decided to go through the desert
again.
Great essay, as I'm reading through your short story I can visualize everything you see, smell. and how you feel, which proves you chose great decisions in the words you used. Your writing rapidly caught my attention as I first began to read it.
ReplyDeleteGreat essay, deep meaning in it. Great grammar and punctuation.
ReplyDeleteGreat essay and great use of vocabulary but you should indent in every starting paragraph.
ReplyDeletegreat essay great use of words and good choice of words
ReplyDeleteGreat essay.
ReplyDeleteagain, great essay. I could really feel what you were feeling. You described everything perfectly and the fact that you never revealed exactly what you saw in the desert provides the readers with an oinous, edge-of-your-seat feeling the whole way through. It was more like a poem, rather than an essay. Great eassy.
ReplyDelete